Ghostface Killah talks about hygiene for 13 minutes
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Yo yo yo, this chapter right here, son… Y’knowimean, I’m gonna take y’all niggas on that– on some real shit, man. This is strictly about living, man. Lotta y’all niggas ain’t livin’ right man, ain’t living righteous, man. Ain’t livin’ well, man, or swell. Y’knowimean? So yo, man. You know what I’m sayin’? I don’t give a fuck, man. From cleanin’ yo’ ass, nigga, to brushing your motherfuckin’ teeth, y’knowimean? Walkin’ around here like a zombie, nigga. Y’knowimean? Like, yo, man, you gotta snap out of this or—there’s a lot of shit you gotta snap out of, man. Y’knowimean ? So yo, we gonna go on a journey, man. Check this shit out.
Y’all motherfuckers sleepin’ too much man, especially sleepin’ all night, sleepin’ all day… like y’all ain’t got nuttin’ to do! Y’knowimean, yo, shit is too valuable out here, man, time is money man! Y’all niggas spend a lot of y’all time in bed, man! Sleepin’, man, not doin’ nuttin’, man! Funky ass niggas, man! Not washin’ yo ass and shit, man! Y’knowimean, it’s time to get up with some new ideas, man! Y’knowimean, y’all niggas don’t even know how to invent shit, man! Think an of invention! Make a new toilet bowl or somethin’, man! You know what I’m sayin’? Do somethin’, man! Y’all motherfuckers, man, y’all niggas kill me, man, it’s time to get up, man! Snap out that bullshit! Walkin’ around here dead, man, word up! One!
Yeah, y’all niggas walkin’ around here with mad crust in yo eyes and shit, nigga. Make sure you clean that shit, man! Nobody wanna see a little… rotten-ass face, y’knowimean, with that white shit all in the corner of your eye, man! Get that up out of there, man, that’s not nice, man, that’s not a good look for you. You feel me? Get that shit up out of there. You too old for that shit, man! Y’all niggas actin’ like y’all five years old, man! Y’all niggas gotta stop suckin’ yo thumb too, man! Y’all niggas, man. Word up, man, I see y’all niggas, man. I’m talkin’ to y’all niggas, man. Word.
Yeah, y’all niggas got—yo, I’m tellin’ y’all, man, when y’all get up in the morning, man, don’t just brush your teeth, man, scrub your tongue, man! Scrub that fucking halitosis off that fucking tongue of yours, man! Word up! This is real talk right here, man, Tony from New York, man! Scrub your tongue, man, that’s where all your bad breath– your little fucking corroded bacteria be runnin’ around, tap dancing on y’all fucking tongue at night, son! Word up! Y’knowimean, dried-up food, nigga! Niggas got that food tongue, man, wake up mouth smellin’ like shit, son! Y’knowimean, ‘cause it– it’s all in your fucking mouth, son! It’s GROWIN’ on that shit! Y’knowimean? Scrub that shit, son! Put some toothpaste on that shit, brush yo teeth and scrub your tongue, man! Scrub your lips and all that shit, man, I don’t give a fuck! Stick the toothpaste, the toothbrush down your fucking throat if you have to, my nigga! Word up! Get that shit up off there, man! That’s not nice. That’s not a good look, son! Brush your fucking teeth EVERY DAY, man, because your mouth, y’all might not care to smell it, but y’all shit is smellin’ like MAD SHIT, son. Y’knowimean, brush your fucking teeth, man, do it hard, man! Brush them shits ‘til your gums bleed, my nigga! Do somethin’ man! Throw– Swallow a box of bakin’ soda and peroxide, nigga! And throw a little bit—This how you do it. Brush your teeth, throw some Listerine in there too, at the same time, man! Your shit gonna be on fire, but it work!
Yeah, for y’all niggas that got mad bumps and shit, son, that be coming on your faces and shit, like I had and shit? Yo, hot water, nigga. Hot water, sizzle them shits off, man. Y’knowimean? It’s like, yo, you could fuck around and put some alcohol on that before you go to bed at night though, but if you get a warm– a hot rag? A real hot rag, like that project hot water? And you soak that motherfucking towel, that your washrag inside the water, and hurry up and put it on your face like “fuck it”? You could scream with that shit! Y’knowimean, That shit, that shit gonna– that shit gonna heat ‘em down a little somethin’. Y’knowimean? Especially for y’all niggas that got bumps growin’ on your nose and shit. Lookin’ like the Wicked Witch of the East, my nigga! Y’knowimean, sizzle that shit! Y’nahm sayin’? Y’all motherfuckers, yo. And not gonna front: Proactiv work. That shit work! That shit work… the refinin’ mask. Y’knowimean, like, that shit get it off in like, one night, nigga.
Don’t be– y’all niggas that be fuckin’ with that bird bath shit, thinkin’ y’all clean? Like you gonna go into the bathroom and just wash your nuts and wash your face, man? Y’knowimean? That’s not cleaning yourself! Now I don’t give a fuck how much soap you put on your little bird-ass chest, nigga! Y’knowimean? It ain’t workin’, my nigga! Y’knowimean? Get your ass in a shower, son! Get between your toes, nigga! Wipe your ass, nigga! And you wipe your motherfucking– when you get in the shower, nigga, for niggas who don’t know how to take showers, WASH YOUR FUCKING FACE FIRST, man. THEN wash your nuts. Don’t wash your nuts and then wash your face! You feel me? You goin’ backwards! Y’knowimean? Lotta y’all niggas don’t even KNOW that shit! Y’knowimean? And scrub hard! Scrub your balls hard, nigga, scrub your little dirt off your ankles, nigga, that when you was a little kid you couldn’t get ‘em off and shit! Y’knowimean, shit kept stickin’ it and– even though how hard you tried, nigga, get the– Y’knowimean? For y’all niggas that got that shit, man, y’all niggas ain’t clean, man. Word up, man. And have a bitch get your back. Because your back is dirty, son. The back of your ass AND the back of your back! That’s right, yeah, scrub that shit, nigga. Clean your ass with the– motherfucker, with the best soap, nigga. The best soap from the heavens above, nigga. That’s Dove.
Be careful. I mean, you know, whatever whatever, to each his own, though, but… that milk? That coffee? Y’knowimean? Hot chocolate and shit? Milkshakes? Son, you fuck around you be shittin’ on yourself and you got somewhere to go that’s mad important, man. Y’knowimean? I’m tellin’ you, G. Don’t just get up and act like you drinkin’ some milk, nigga, and you about to bounce. ‘Cause you gonna fuck around and shit on yourself. If you stuck in traffic, nigga, you gonna shit on yourself. Y’knowimean? I’m tellin’ you, so just take it… take it from me and shit. Y’knowimean? It’s like, yo. I’m your man. P Tone, we army riggin’ the building, nigga. Know what I mean?
Lot of niggas don’t know how to get busy. Lot of y’all motherfuckers just throw on whatever whatever whatever and just think that’s what’s poppin’, man, and it’s not poppin’, man. Y’knowimean? Yo, when you step out your crib, man… just make sure you match, man. Make sure you match, man. Don’t be coming out, say, out on some– some fucking– like you Rainbow Man or something like that, G, with mad different colors and shit in your shit; your gear ain’t– ain’t ain’t ain’t— you attire ain’t proper, son, Y’knowimean? Make sure your swagger is good, you up to par, Y’knowimean, you decent. You decent. Y’knowimean, you ain’t gotta come out looking all superfly and dapper and all that shit, but just make sure that your gear is like– you official. Y’knowimean, you could take the wackest gear, but make sure your gear – that K-Mart gear or whatever you wearing, son – is, is, is– you official with it. You bringing the steez to it, Y’knowimean? Lot of niggas don’t know how to get busy. Lot of y’all motherfuckers just throw on whatever whatever whatever and just think that’s what’s poppin’, man, and it’s not poppin’, man. Y’knowimean? Make sure your foot game is official. A bitch don’t like you to step to her or act like you trying to bag her with your foot game… your toes, your shoes is all bent up, Y’knowimean? At least, if your jeans is fucked up, man, and you got a decent pair of kicks on, you might be able to pull a bitch. Y’knowimean, she might go for it. Y’knowimean? Your haircut game gotta be live, too. Just make sure your cut is– if your cut is good, and your kicks is good, you might get the bitch. A lot of y’all niggas ain’t live, Y’knowimean? Out of a hundred niggas, it might be, like, ten live live live that’s superlive niggas. The rest of y’all niggas is BIRD NIGGAS. Straight up. Y’knowimean? The type of niggas that just get punched in the face all day. Robbed all day, stuck– niggas that was gettin’ stuck for they cupcakes, man, back in fucking high school, nigga, like in junior high, nigga, niggas takin’ your buttercrunch, nigga. Y’knowimean, we know about that shit, nigga. Y’knowimean, so yo, like I– like I say, man, out of a hundred niggas there might be like ten live niggas out of a hundred niggas, man. And which one are you, nigga? Point it out, nigga. And is you sure about that, dude?
And yo, all y’all niggas that’s out there buyin’ your jewels from the back of The Source? You need to sit the fuck down. Y’all making the jewelry game fucked up right now! And y’all Source niggas that’s puttin’ that shit in the back of The Source! Y’knowimean? Y’all niggas, man… every rapper, wanna be a rapper, you know, you automatically gotta have a chain. That’s what make you a rapper. Y’knowimean? Fuck that chain shit, man, if your jewels ain’t– princess cut, invisible settings or whatever, son? Your shit is blinging like the disco ball in the club? If your shit ain’t doin’ that, SIT THAT BULLSHIT DOWN, son. You gonna get killed for nothin’. You gonna die for nothin’, nigga! Y’knowimean? You’re gonna get stuck for nuttin’! Nigga go to cash in your little bullshit jewels, your shit worth like five dollars, man! Y’knowimean, those stones ain’t real, son. Do it big, man. When you do it, man– if you doin’ big things, when you do it big, you’re gonna do it big, man. Nobody want to see no cloudy shit around here, son. Nobody want to see rocked-up cigarette smoke, son. Y’knowimean? This is– That’s cloudy shit, some cloudy shit, Y’knowimean? Changing the forecast with that shit. Y’knowimean, the sun was just in here, you gonna come with the cloudy shit. It ain’t right, nigga, you ain’t right, you fucking the game up with that shit, man. Do it big, man, when you do it – stay out the back of The Source, nigga. Y’knowimean? Word up. And stop robbin’ them bullshit niggas for they little bullshit jewels because it don’t amount to nothin’, nigga.
Y’all bitch-ass niggas wearing Capris, nigga. Y’knowimean? Ohhhhhhh shit, man. I don’t know what’s up with niggas, man, with they gear game, man. You know what I’m sayin’? Tony keep it mad official, son. There’s only certain shits you can catch me in. Y’knowimean? I be seein’ niggas out there, look like they wearin’ gauchos and shit, son. Y’knowimean, kneed knickers! Like them bitches! Bitches be rockin’ knickers and shit, niggas be rockin’ knickers like bitches and shit. Y’all little bikers– y’all bikin’ niggas, man, them spandex niggas, man: TAKE THAT SHIT OFF, man, put some real shit on, man. Y’all niggas belong in ballet class or somethin’, man! Y’all niggas is ballerina niggas on bikes! Straight up! Come out that soft shit, nigga! Y’knowimean? Get off that Speedo shit, nigga! You know what I’m sayin’? This is real– this is real nigga shit, this is real– this is real shit in here, man! Word up, man! Sweaty palms, soft hands niggas and shit, man… Y’knowimean, I don’t like dealing with y’all niggas, man. I don’t– don’t shake my hand when you fucking see me, G. This is real talk, man. Start spazzing on y’all niggas man. Y’knowimean? Word up, man. Fix your dress code, nigga. It’s your boy. Holler.
Yo, y’all niggas is foul, man. How you gonna let your man step outside, G, and have that little white shit in his mouth and shit, and he out here kickin’ it with y’all niggas like he just ate mad fuckin’ corn flakes or somethin’, man? Dried out milk around the side of his mouth like he stuck his tongue in a bottle of powder or somethin’, man. Y’knowimean? Y’all niggas is– y’all niggas, that ain’t right, son. Y’knowimean? A nigga come around, if that’s your boy, man, holler at him! Tell son to get that booger out his nose, son! Y’knowimean, tell son to get that motherfuckin’, that– “yo, wipe your mouth, son”! Y’all niggas gonna sit there, and see a nigga with food on his teeth or somethin’, and not say nothin’. Y’knowimean, you may have not seen this nigga in years, you gonna let him go– you gonna let him– you gonna let him go ahead and go to church with that shit on his lips or on his teeth or… Y’knowimean, wherever the fuck he goin’ and shit. You know what I’m sayin’? Nigga goin’ to the fights with greens on his teeth. Y’knowimean? Nigga on the floor, he fight with collared greens on the floor, bends his back tooth or somethin’ and shit, y’all niggas see that shit, nigga! Let that nigga know, son! You know what I’m sayin’? Stop frontin’, man! That’s not nice, though, that’s not a nice… that’s not a– that’s not a nice thing to do, man, Y’knowimean? If it’s me, son? And I got a fucking booger on my nose or something like that, man, HOLLER AT THE BOY, man. Tell it, yo say, “Yo Tone, that’s not looking real right right there, my nigga! Get that green kickball out your fucking nose or somethin’, nigga!” Y’knowimean? I’m gonna be, “Ohhhh, shit, word? Oh, alright, true, true… you got it, my dude!” Y’knowimean, that’s what it is, “Good lookin’, good lookin’! Word up, there, I was about to just step to that bitch right there, son…” Y’knowimean? Word up, man, set me free, man! On some Martin Luther King shit, man! Stop playing, man, word up! I know what to do, man, it’s Tone, man!
Excerpt from The World According to Pretty Toney
Words by D. Coles, transcription by Robert Sosin
via the Maximum Fun Forum