Being Offended
I remember very vividly the time that I witnessed Brandon get truly offended. It doesn’t happen very often, so it really stuck in my mind. We were at the Seattle Zoo, and Brandon was told to “keep it down.” He wasn’t talking very loudly at all (I know, hard to believe), and we were in an outdoor public space. This really offended Brandon and he was shocked as to how much it actually offended him. Before this moment, he’d sorta thought that he couldn’t be truly offended.
That got me thinking yesterday when something happened that sorta offended me: I was told that I will argue with someone even when I agree with them. It’s really not a huge deal, but it’s something that bugs me because I don’t know what more I could do about it. I mean, honestly, I can’t think of a single instance in my life when I have heard someone say something I agree with and then proceeded to argue with them. That sounds like insanity to me.
But I can’t just assume that the people that say this are wrong because I have heard it more than once in my life. So, where does it come from? How do these people get this impression about me when it seems so far from how I perceive myself?
Another similar comment that I get sometimes is: you never admit when you’re wrong. Yet again, it frustrates the hell out of me because I have extremely vivid memories (sometime even just days old) in which I say the words, “I was wrong.” Like, that defeats their argument, right?
And then there’s this weird twist of irony in that I can’t ever debate either of those statements because it just fuels the fire. If I try to fight it, if I try to defend myself, then it either looks like I’m arguing something that I agree with or that I’m not admitting I’m wrong.
But the thing that hurts the most is that I make an active effort to NOT do both of the things I’m being convicted of doing. I try really hard to be honest with myself, and admit when I’m wrong. I try really hard to show people that 1) I understand what they are saying and 2) I agree with them (if I do). Again, I have very vivid memories of saying, “I totally agree with you.”
What’s a guy to do?
