Green is the new Bullshit

by Eli

This new wave of “green” bullshit is making me sick. Recently I saw the “green” issue of Time Magazine. Oh, thank you, Time Magazine, if only every magazine out there would change their traditional red border to green, then we’d really be making a difference!

One of my favorites is the new Saturn ad campaign: Rethink. It’s so hilarious/frustrating to me that I LOL just about every time I see or hear one of the ads: “Explore all the fuel-efficient choices from the company that’s rethinking everything.”

Rethinking everything? Are you fucking kidding me?

First off, that’s a blatant lie, and they should be sued for false advertising. How can they say that they are “rethinking everything” when they actually rethought nothing? They’re still just making cars, and those cars are still only getting about 30-ish miles to the gallon. That is so far from a rethinking of everything that I can’t believe they actually had the balls to say it. If Saturn was truly rethinking everything, they would come to the conclusion that car culture is incredible destructive, that it needs to be stopped, and they would dissolve their entire company.

But, even if Saturn were to invent a car that is made out of corn and runs on fucking air, it would still have to be manufactured and shipped, and it would still have to be driven on roads (and that only scratches the surface). Our world is incredibly complex, and it baffles me that people are short-sited enough to accept such simple-minded answers. The problem isn’t inefficient cars, it’s cars in general.

And the sad part is that we actually do need to rethink everything. Not in a Saturn way, in a real way. We need to rethink the way that we live in the world, the way we get our food, the way we build our houses, the way we transport people and stuff. We need to drastically change ourselves or we will be forced to change in the not-so-distant future.

What would you do if the trucks stopped delivering food today?

Advertisement