blog.eliduke.com

this past tuesday was the first time in about a month that i got up to go to work before meredith did. that used to always be the case, but this past month i had 2 weeks off from game testing followed by 2 weeks of call-center training (10am-7pm). back when i was regularly game testing i’d get up at about 6:30 and meredith would follow around 7:15 or so. sometimes she’d come downstairs before brandon showed up and sometimes it was after; either way it was always for her bowl of cereal in the morning.

this past tuesday was quite the treat. i got up promptly at 6:30 and made my way downstairs for some breakfast and a good sittin’ before i had to go to work. i really enjoy that time in the morning when i can just sit at the breakfast nook and do just that: sit. it’s really nice.

so i was sittin’ there, and meredith came downstairs to get her bowl of cereal. i looked over as she walked into the kitchen and i could easily see how tired she was. she does this shoulder-hunch-eye-squint thing when she’s tired, so i knew right away that she was in sleepwalk mode and wasn’t going to be fully aware of her actions.

but before i get to those actions i need to remind my reader(s) of something that they may not know/remember about meredith. she is probably the worst cereal-box-opener the world has ever known. i’ve never actually seen one of her vicious attacks, but i think we’ve all seen the aftermath: the box flaps are ripped in half and will no longer close, the plastic bag is ripped vertically down the side with cereal spilling all over the inside of the box, and it is just about impossible to pour yourself a bowl of cereal and not spill it all over the place. it is ridiculous. sure, some people call me crazy for how meticulous i am about opening bags of food, but this is just outrageous.

but like i said, i’d never actually seen it first hand. i had no idea how it was even possible to open a box/bag of cereal with that outcome. i was about to find out…

meredith walks into the kitchen (crazy tired), gets out the box of cereal, pulls open the flaps, grabs the bag of cereal with both hands and immediately brings it right up to her teeth. with those three points of contact just starts pulling in all directions!! it’s like the bag was being fucking drawn and quartered or something. luckily i was within reaching distance and i snatched that bag of cereal out of her dirty little mits and cut it open properly with scissors.

happy thanksgiving