disbelief

by Eli

i’m still in a bit of disbelief at this point. i think back to what happened and it doesn’t seem real. like that time that TC chewed me out at high school graduation practice. like, i was looking at him as he was saying those things to me and the whole time i was thinking, “me?” it didn’t make sense.

today it’s a bit more real, a bit more tangible. this time i’ve got something i can hold on to, something that is actually real. i can look at it and read it and read it again, and sure enough it keeps saying the same thing.

but then i think about it and it really doesn’t make any sense. “are you serious?” i think. but sure enough, they were serious. so i stood and waited and waited some more. my hands were not in my pockets and i stood and waited. it was raining a bit, and i was still not sure what was going to happen.

finally, it was over. they wanted me to be “safe” out there.

i got a fucking $45 jaywalking ticket.