girl on the bus
by Eli
after LOST tonight i took the bus home from the Ass Chapel. the boys live at 93rd and Stone, and the bus picks up at about 85th and Stone, so it’s about a 10 minute walk to the bus. unfortunately i thought that i had left with plenty of time, and in a way i sort did: i had plenty of time to get the bus stop and see the bus roll right past me. bummer.
luckily i had my new 4GB iPod Nano with me (it is actually used, but new to me. i got it for $80 on craigslist), so i popped a squat on the bench and rocked out for about a 1/2 hour until the next bus came.
it arrived on time and i boarded, putting my $1.25 into the slot and sitting down. i sat in the first “row” of seats, the ones that face inward toward the middle of the bus and can be lifted up to make room for a wheel chair if needed. i sat on the right side (as i faced the back of the bus) up against that short wall between the inward-facing seats and the first row of forward-facing seats. immediately to my right in the first forward-facing seat was a pretty cute girl, reading a book. she was sorta punky and “alternative,” but not in an annoying way. this lack of annoyance convinced me to take a peak at what book she was reading: American Psycho.
that is like one of my favorite movies of all time, so i said:
“Hey, have you seen that movie?”
“Yeah, it’s a lot different than the book.”
“Hmm… but you like them both?”
“Yeah, have you read any thing else by [Bret Easton Ellis]?”
“No.”
“You should, he’s great.”
“OK, thanks.”
i put my head phones back on, and she continued reading her book.
it was at this point that i realized something: it is WAY to difficult to make friends in our culture. there are WAY too many cultural norms that have been established about NOT talking to strangers and NOT being “weird” and other bullshit. it’s like we aren’t supposed to connect to people unless we’ve known them for months, if not years. i just didn’t have the balls to say anything more to her because i thought that she would think i was weird. what a crock of shit!
i should have just laid it out like this:
so… i know that we don’t know each other at all, but you seem like a pretty cool person. you happen to be reading the inspiration for one of my favorite movies of all time, so that’s already one thing we have in common. i want to make sure that we hang out sometime, but at the same time i don’t want to be weird and creepy about it. what do you say?
i got off the bus thinking about all of this, and felt stupid for not going for it. why the hell not? if it bombs, it bombs, and i never see her again. if not, then i’ve made a new friend. i’ve decided that i’m going to try my hardest to not hold back in those situations anymore. if something like that presents itself, i should just go for it. what have i got to lose?
on an unrelated note: check out the comment i posted on LostReview.com. it’s hilarious.
UPDATE: now nate has posted a comment on LostReview.com as well.
UPDATE: i don’t know if y’all read the comments, but i posted on craigslist under “missed connections” in regards to this incident. i put it up early thursday morning and sometime this afternoon i GOT A RESPONSE! can you fucking believe it? anyhoo, there is a real chance that this is fake, but i’ll keep you posted.
UPDATE: i’ve been had by ace venture pet detective. nate hired one of his goons to reply to my post and trick me. the funny thing is, though, that in an effort to try and verify that this person was legit, i did some searching on myspace. it certainly didn’t register then like it’s registering now, but the only person that matched my searches lived in minneapolis. i thought, “that can’t be right…” looking back on it i should have suspected nate, but i didn’t… touché.
post something on missed connections on craigslist…if she’s “alternative” then she surely knows about that shit.
Ever since I didn’t go to Seattle with you guys, I’ve had to learn how to make new friends…I can actually see myself getting better at it. It’s not so hard as you think. Don’t do what your idea was–just say, “look, I know it’s weird, but be my friend…” that’s not how it works. What I do is be really, really smiley, and agree with everything they say, even if it’s stupid, and talk about whatever they’re interested in even if you’re not. ACtually, I end up acting a lot like Casey acts around strangers. Telling innocent/silly jokes, being positive about everything, smiling and stuff. Anyway…see ya!
(N8) – i actually already did that. no response as of yet.
(Andy) – yeah, i sorta like what you are saying, but i sorta don’t. i think my point is that i {shouldn’t have / don’t want} to be fake with the person. i don’t want to be something that i’m not, i just want to be able to talk with them. when i talk with strangers i know that i’m a little bit different, but i don’t lay it on like that. i think that at times it can be helpful to say things like, “i know it’s weird” because it puts the obvious on the table. sorta like when during an awkward situation someone says, “man… this is awkward.” it totally breaks down the walls and makes it easier to get through it.
You guys may think I’m wrong, but in my experience, people only think of themselves, so it often doesn’t matter what subject you broach in order to talk to them. They just don’t care. I think making friends is all too dependent on some level of intrinsic interest. See, guys like Casey don’t create this interest, they capitalize upon it. They have something to say to justify initial interest, and then it’s a done deal. So, in this case, if this girl wasn’t interested in talking to you, even mentioning an author she likes would have very little impact. I can only draw on my experiences with girls (since these are the only types of human I really care about meeting), but most of the girls I have conjured up in my day have liked me even before I gave them interesting reasons. I sealed the deal because I had something to say, but the door was opened to me becuase these people noticed something about me on their own. This theory may not be universally true, but by and large it seems to be the case. Oh, and I’ve read two books by Brett Easton Ellis, including “American Psycho,” and I would say he is a blowhard who tells a poor story. So that girl might not have had much to say anyhow.
i totally agree drew, i’m not saying that it really matters WHAT i’m saying, just that i don’t want to be fake. i don’t want to have to be all smiles and close talking just to make a person want to interact with me. and THAT is the problem i’m talking about.
in general, people have become very indifferent to other people; there are so damn many of us that we can walk past a couple hundred each day, not say a word to any of them, and that’s normal. i want an environment where people (including myself) are interested in other people just because they are other people. that would make it much easier to make friends.
oh yeah… blowhard? are you serious?
sorry, e. i couldn’t pass it up.
“I’m sorry, I… couldn’t help myself.” – Ace Ventura