god dammit i’m a lightweight

by Eli

by this time in my life, it is pretty well known that i certainly cannot handle my liquor. to this day i can still count the number of times i’ve imbibed the stuff to my own 10 digits. is that wrong? i think not, yet others continued to disagree with me on the subject. i’m not sure what it is about my personality (and no, it’s not that i “don’t know how to have a good time,” you jackasses), but the whole process of drinking just doesn’t agree with me. most (if not all) of it tastes horrible and has to be aquired, the “drunk” is fun for about an hour or two, and then is soon followed by a headache and dizzy spell. a recipe for disaster in my book.

i admit that most of this comes from a lack of experience. you could say that one must learn how to have fun drinking, just like you have to learn how to have fun snowboarding. at first you get sick and puke all over the place, you fall down the stairs, you make out with someone you might not have otherwise (maybe that part never goes away), but eventually you get the hang of it and learn how much to drink and how to drink it. but i loved the entire process of learning how to snowboard (the falls, the bruises, the successes) and have absolutely hated the “learning process” thus far of drinking. i think that about 90% of it has been unpleasant and the other 10% was a certain kind of fun that i wouldn’t want on any kind of a regular basis.

i’d say the cause for my vicious disposition comes directly from my history of headaches. throughout a large part of my childhood and early adolescence i was prone to migraine headaches and dizziness. i would get motion sick, have horrible, imobilizing migraines, and sometimes throw up because it was so bad. during one particularly horrible episode in middle school, i had a migraine every morning for a week. luckily this faded away over the next few years because i started taking medication that erradicated my migraines almost entirely. i don’t get motion sick nearly as often as i used to and even normal headaches are a thing uncommon.

but yet again i’m reminded of what headaches feel like when i introduce foreign substances into my body. i’m writing this entry from the local coffe shop (sureshot) where i have yet again found another nemesis: caffeine. i come to the sureshot every so often and get vegan doughnuts and use their wireless internet. it’s a nice place and the people are friendly. sometimes they force me to buy more than i normally would because of their $5 mininum on debit card purchases, and i’ll buy a few doughnuts instead of one. but today was different. today i ordered a doughnut and some coffee. eeewww! i know. but i thought i’d give it a shot and see where it took me. i told the barista that i wanted something sweet, creamy, cold, and vegan. he whipped me up something delicious, but quite a bit more caffeinated than i had expected. i didn’t even think to ask for decaf, which i should have, and boy was that a mistake. about 8 ounces into my 16 ounce drink i started to get dizzy. the room started spinning and i was having trouble focusing on the text on the computer screen. i went up to the barista and informed him of my situation and he said that it was most definitely the caffeine. although the normal 1 ounce of espresso to 8 ounces of drink doesn’t have much of an effect on the seasoned coffee drinker, he said that it could very easily hit a coffee virgin quite hard.

is that weird? does that make sense to anyone else? why does my body hate these drugs so much? why does everyone else got wired and i get dizzy? why does everyone else get “crunked” (crazy drunk) and i get “punked” (pukey drunk)?

i know people that can drink and drink and drink until there is nothing more to do but throw up, and then they drink some more and pass out. they wake up in the morning with a hang over, puke some more, and then start drinking again. to me, that sounds like nothing short of hell. in the past after i’ve drank and feel horrible, i usually swear off alcohol forever. i think i’ve sworn it off “forever” about 3 or 4 times, but i keep coming back (usually by the pressure of my peers). and, here i go again. this coming saturday night we will all be celebrating brandon’s 23rd birthday and he has asked me to drink with him and i have said “yes.” despite this most recent foray into dizziness yet again (blasted caffeine), i’ve decided that i’m going to do my best to stay in a positive frame of mind. i’m going to pay close attention to how much i’ve had and how fast i’ve had it and really try to make this time an enjoyable one.

afterall, it may be my last… forever!