If ants take over the world

From the wonderful mind of Bookis:

I can imagine a world where ants have taken over the world. It would work like this. When Eli dies, and ants have access to that giant but magnificent head of his, they will have the resources to form a super ant. If you don’t know, a super ant is a mythological being made up of several ants, most stories say 10 – 15 making up a small figure. only about 3/4 of an inch tall, but the strength gained when forming a super ant is exponential for each additional ant. The super ant could lift an 18-wheelin’ big rig above it’s head.

Anyway, after the ants eat eli’s head they will have what they need to become the most powerful being in the universe, it will roam the Earth destroying everything in it’s path. Following close behind will be billions of regular ants, not following a leader but admiring a god.

I have made a drawing.

Giant Ant Man

American Psycho on the 48

I just recently started following @ejipp on Twitter (a friend of my brother’s), which jogged loose a funny memory that’s been locked away in my brain somewhere for about 5 years. I asked her if she remembered and she did. Then Nate joined the conversation and asked if I still had the evidence. Turns out a did, thanks to Gmail.

It all started with my first (and last) craigslist Missed Connection.

October 19th, 2006 at 1:11AM
American Psycho on the 48 – m4w

I got on the bus and sat down.
You were reading American Psycho and we talked for a minute or so.
I wish I would have asked you this then:

do you want to be my friend?


I never expected to hear anything back, and then…

October 21st, 2006 at 2:10 PM

I would love to be your friend. I wish we could have talked more.


I was about to SHIT myself! It actually worked! I responded.

October 21st, 2006 at 8:00 PM

are you being serious? this is blowing my mind right now. you better not be fucking with me.

write back

Then she let the cat out of the bag…

October 22nd, 2006 at 4:32 PM

no. i’m not. your brother made me do it. my name is jipp. he and i are assholes.

I should have known better.

Oct 22, 2006 at 5:05 PM

ha ha! well, that’s good to know. be sure to give him a good one to the kidney for me.

There you have it, Nate, in all it’s glory. :)

Custom Contact Info for the iPhone Lock Screen

This past weekend in Seattle my good friend @bookis lost his iPhone. He thought he left it at the bar, but maybe it was in the taxi on the way home? He’s not really sure. We called the bar the next day and also tried getting a hold of the taxi company. It was a lost cause.

But even if someone had found the phone and wanted to return it, they’d have no idea how. His phone was password protected (as it should be), so all they’d be able to do is try to guess his password and make an emergency call. That’s it. There would be no way for these hypothetical good samaritans to have any idea who’s phone they’d found and do the good deed.

Why hasn’t Apple addressed this issue?

Well, there is a very simple solution to this problem, and it starts with a piece of scrap paper and a sharpie marker.

Setting Custom Contact Info on the iPhone Lock Screen

The first step is to write your contact info on that scrap piece of paper with that sharpie marker I mentioned a second ago. I’d recommend your name, email address, and a phone number of a friend or family member. Then take a picture of it with your iPhone. Make sure you put the paper down somewhere with good lighting and hold steady when you snap the photo.

Once you’ve got a good photo, you’re ready to set that photo to your lock screen. Tap the button on the bottom left corner.

Setting Custom Contact Info on iPhone Lock Screen: Tap Corner Button

Tap “Use as Wallpaper”

Setting Custom Contact Info on iPhone Lock Screen: Use as Wallpaper

Zoom and drag the photo around until it looks good and fits on the screen. Make sure that all your contact info is clearly readable and in between the lines, then tap “Set”.

Setting Custom Contact Info on the iPhone Lock Screen: Move and Scale

Then tap “Set Lock Screen”

Setting Custom Contact Info on iPhone Lock Screen: Set Lock Screen

And that’s it! Done and done. The next time you see your lock screen it should look something like this.

Custom Contact Info for iPhone Lock Screen

Oh, and you should password protect your iPhone. Now.

[Big ups to @brke for helping me simplify this process immensely. Also, I wrote this entire post (including uploading the photos) on my Dell Mini Hackintosh while riding Amtrak Cascades from Seattle to Portland.]


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